Awkward Silence

It's hard to explain today's silence.  The absence of certification.  Transition, the passage of time.  People are moving, having babies, loosing precious babies. Others are just having a really hard time, they are dangling from a thread above an abyss of exhaustion.  My family is going through some changes.  Moving thousands of miles from one end of the globe to the other.  Children are growing up, transforming with each new school year, learning to become more and more responsible for their actions and responses.  

Today I am engulfed in silence.  I know it means something.  All I can think about is fall candles.  Truly, I'm slightly obsessed as I get from time to time with ideas.  I can feel everyone around me wishing fall here, the plaid shirts and the fireside nights.  Hot libation and of course those fall candles filling the house with delicious warm scents.  People are struggling behind closed doors, their sin and sadness spilling out in front of me, flooding my feet so it becomes my sadness and my responsibility.

Sometimes sitting in silence is the only thing we can do.  I don't mean emptying your mind as Eastern Mysticism teaches, but just sitting with all those uncertainties and doubts and fears and hopes and dreams.  Just mulling over the jumble of life.  Creating space for Holy Intervention, for word or thought or instruction. 

God's mercies are new every morning.  New for me, new for others who go to sleep with heavy hearts.  Maybe it's the silence before heavy rain....

...you can close your eyes, it's alright.