February Fourteenth In the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Eight... in a land far far away
It was a drizzly afternoon, the boys were preparing a surprise party for the girls on board our Japanese fishing boat. The sun hung drearily behind the veil of low lying clouds. A chill in the air I walked down the long key side frustrated and alone. The months before had been spent dealing with unwanted visitors and unwanted attention interspersed with periods of complete isolation. Living in a foreign country, readjusting to life without the company of 11 other women. The party wasn't for me, it didn't include me, infact I was the go to helper...
'Can you hide all the party things in your van so the girls don't see them?' asked one of the boys unaware of his lack of tact. In my head I thought 'What am I not a girl?'
I was singing at a gig on the other side of town, a coffee/bar type things, semi-acoustic, one plug in guitar and the essence of a drummer, I was only singing - my friend Jono a burly rugby playing Maori was my contact and friend. As I loaded my gear into the van a couple of the ship crew realised they weren't invited to the party on board, so decided to hitch a ride to my gig. One of them eighteen and green had an unnerving almost annoying infatuation with me. Instead of feeling flattered I was left feeling distrust and weirded out (like Maggie O'Connell being taken to high school prom aged 32).
We pulled away from the dock yard and internally fuming I didn't really catch onto the banter exchanged by the two Kansas boys who squeezed themselves in next to me on the front seats. I shifted the gear lever on the wheel with aggression finding myself less and less full of malcontent the further from the party and the ship I drew. I was nervous too, I wasn't sure how this gig was going to play out, if I'd be confident enough to belt some songs out or be laughed out of the bar.
In the giant parking lot serving the bar and several other business there were a smattering of vehicles, the sky looked clearer, the deep blue night sky seemed to warm up the evening. My phone rang. The boys jumped from the van, excited to be in a new part of town. I caught the call.
'Hi, I'm just calling about the audition you did last month, have you sung in a band before?' said the voice on the other end of the phone.
'Yea, I'm just about to play a gig right now, nothing professional you know, just for fun' I replied acting confident.
'Great, well we are gonna put you in a team out of town if you are interested still?' said the voice in a checking you off my list tone.
'I dunno.' I breathed. In my head I knew the out of town thing wasn't going to work, I barely had money to drive my van let alone experiment with out of town gigs. 'I'm not sure I can do out of town, I'd like to but...I gotta get going can I call you back?'
'Sure let us know as soon as mate.' said the voice at the other end and hung up.
Great I thought, what I wanted but not what I wanted...the carrot dangled infront of me that I can't eat! I put the call from my mind and followed the guys into the bar.
Jono was sat on stage off center of the room playing guitar, he nodded when we entered, there was a girl and a guy with him singing and playing, two guitars, maybe he thought I wouldn't show. They played a few songs and I bought the boys some beer. The place was half empty, a few people milling about outside. Inside I was raging with nerves and discontent. The beer managed to calm my nerves enough to actually enter into some banter with the guys, I mean they were in the same position as me...none of us were invited to the party on the ship.
Eventually the band took a break in their set, Jono got a drink and mingled with all the people he knew there, he knew everyone in town and everyone knew him. The high school rugby sweetheart back in the day, he was now a key employee of one of the local music shops and a Friday night institution at the Cornerstone Bar where he played with his primary band. He made it round to our table. A big friendly fellow he made all of us welcome and seemed excited to get me up singing in the next set. We talked over a couple of song ideas and he ran them passed his musicians. It seemed to work out. Nervous as heck I took my seat on the staged area, the crew excited and giggling as was appropriate for a couple of new in town Kansas boys, the rest of the patrons burying themselves in their beers wishing it wasn't Valentines Day.
We ran through a couple of songs, I chimed in with some baking vocals and shyed away from too much action with the microphone. Jono encouraged me a bit more and so I decided to let loose. We eventually came to our closing number, the song was a cover of God I feel like Hell tonight by Sheryl Crow.
People had started to come in from the cold as the night sky drew close and the room seemed rosier and bright. Nervous but full of emotion Jono started off the guitar picking and I didn't start, he kept going and I cleared my throat and began.
The room had become eerily silent and all I could hear was the guitar and my voice, our voices.
The song ended and the room rose in applause. A lady came up to me, she asked me if I'd sing at her wedding on a special island off the coast that coming Spring. She loved the song, she loved my voice, she wanted to pay me to sing at her wedding.
Jono smiled at me and went to get a beer.
The lady gave me her contact details and I slipped over to my crew who were waiting to jump me with hugs and smiles.
As the night continued on we decided to head home. I left Jono playing his guitar as I had entered.
My mind swirling with the events of the night, I was right again, my world had somehow corrected itself and I drove the boys home happy and quiet as they chatted and bubbled over their night of fun.
As I pulled up into the dock yard we could hear the music bouncing off the water. Dance music, party music. The boys jumped from the van onto their next adventure. I saw the lights and heard the music and I was content. We clambered merrily down the steep stairwell and entered the blacked out lounge, there were people everywhere. The ship was pumping. Decorations, food, music and dancing. The guys had pulled off a great party it seemed and everyone looked happy. I went to throw my coat in the bunk I shared with the cook. On my bed was a long stemmed red rose. No note just the rose.
I went back to the party and snuggled my self into a dark corner to watch the madness and joy and well hide in my own victory of the night. My Kansas admirer squeezed his tiny butt into the gap between me and the next person, with a piece of cake in tow. I asked him about the rose, he knew nothing about it, but looked perplexed that he hadn't placed the thorny item there himself. I wondered about the rose, but figured it was some community gesture, or a left over flower the party boys didn't know what to do with.
We watched the others dancing and relaxing, talking, a different atmosphere to the one we had been in. I wondered if they could smell the smoke and beer on us. I didn't care, maybe I'd consoled the anti-Valentines drinkers at the bar with my crooning. Well, one lady sure enjoyed it. That was good enough for me that night. Maybe there was no romance on my horizon, but I had a song.
Starting to feel the effects of an empty stomach I began to gobble down my cake. Before I knew what was happening a long hand reached out to me from the dance floor, it was attached to the tall Californian guy with the funny name and floppy hair I'd spoken briefly to earlier in the week. We'd exchanged some mild media and comedy banter, but nothing to warrant being pulled from my cave and the over-interest of the Kansas lad. My half loaded cake plate fell into his lap as California man literally swept me off my chair and then feet to the dance floor. To this day I have no idea what song was playing. I remember feeling like my face was going to burst into flames of embarrassment as he swung me like a rag doll around the floor. My head barely made it to his chest height. I dared to look up and see his smiling face beaming with joy. I glanced over at Kansas boy who looked even more perplexed as if someone had stolen his dessert.
Never in my whole life had anyone pulled me up onto a dance floor. Dancing wasn't too cool in the Gothic/grunge peer set I found myself in during my younger years..it was more like head banging, trying to cause brain injury and deafness during one repeated motion. I was infact a dancer, I'd trained in Latin American and Ballroom dancing all through Elementary and High School. I'd even been in competitions, that I NEVER told my friends about. The lanky push pull of my partner was starting to jolt my arms, the song fortunately came to an end. He spun me off towards the edge of the dance floor and smiled and scurried off to find himself a drink.
As California man was the most eligible young man on the ship at that time, I stopped and realised that EVERYONE had been staring at us, even the fellow dancers. I could hear the sound of hearts shattering all over the floor as I walked awkwardly back to my seat...this time I was happy to squeeze myself in next to Kansas boy and fade from the piercing stares, but even he had turned his back to me and was intent in conversation with a young engaged Swedish girl. I hadn't realised at that moment it had been the first and last dance that California man would dance that night. By pulling me out from the crowd he had no idea he'd answered my song: 'Are you strong enough?'
Happy Valentines Day!
'Can you hide all the party things in your van so the girls don't see them?' asked one of the boys unaware of his lack of tact. In my head I thought 'What am I not a girl?'
I was singing at a gig on the other side of town, a coffee/bar type things, semi-acoustic, one plug in guitar and the essence of a drummer, I was only singing - my friend Jono a burly rugby playing Maori was my contact and friend. As I loaded my gear into the van a couple of the ship crew realised they weren't invited to the party on board, so decided to hitch a ride to my gig. One of them eighteen and green had an unnerving almost annoying infatuation with me. Instead of feeling flattered I was left feeling distrust and weirded out (like Maggie O'Connell being taken to high school prom aged 32).
We pulled away from the dock yard and internally fuming I didn't really catch onto the banter exchanged by the two Kansas boys who squeezed themselves in next to me on the front seats. I shifted the gear lever on the wheel with aggression finding myself less and less full of malcontent the further from the party and the ship I drew. I was nervous too, I wasn't sure how this gig was going to play out, if I'd be confident enough to belt some songs out or be laughed out of the bar.
In the giant parking lot serving the bar and several other business there were a smattering of vehicles, the sky looked clearer, the deep blue night sky seemed to warm up the evening. My phone rang. The boys jumped from the van, excited to be in a new part of town. I caught the call.
'Hi, I'm just calling about the audition you did last month, have you sung in a band before?' said the voice on the other end of the phone.
'Yea, I'm just about to play a gig right now, nothing professional you know, just for fun' I replied acting confident.
'Great, well we are gonna put you in a team out of town if you are interested still?' said the voice in a checking you off my list tone.
'I dunno.' I breathed. In my head I knew the out of town thing wasn't going to work, I barely had money to drive my van let alone experiment with out of town gigs. 'I'm not sure I can do out of town, I'd like to but...I gotta get going can I call you back?'
'Sure let us know as soon as mate.' said the voice at the other end and hung up.
Great I thought, what I wanted but not what I wanted...the carrot dangled infront of me that I can't eat! I put the call from my mind and followed the guys into the bar.
Jono was sat on stage off center of the room playing guitar, he nodded when we entered, there was a girl and a guy with him singing and playing, two guitars, maybe he thought I wouldn't show. They played a few songs and I bought the boys some beer. The place was half empty, a few people milling about outside. Inside I was raging with nerves and discontent. The beer managed to calm my nerves enough to actually enter into some banter with the guys, I mean they were in the same position as me...none of us were invited to the party on the ship.
Eventually the band took a break in their set, Jono got a drink and mingled with all the people he knew there, he knew everyone in town and everyone knew him. The high school rugby sweetheart back in the day, he was now a key employee of one of the local music shops and a Friday night institution at the Cornerstone Bar where he played with his primary band. He made it round to our table. A big friendly fellow he made all of us welcome and seemed excited to get me up singing in the next set. We talked over a couple of song ideas and he ran them passed his musicians. It seemed to work out. Nervous as heck I took my seat on the staged area, the crew excited and giggling as was appropriate for a couple of new in town Kansas boys, the rest of the patrons burying themselves in their beers wishing it wasn't Valentines Day.
We ran through a couple of songs, I chimed in with some baking vocals and shyed away from too much action with the microphone. Jono encouraged me a bit more and so I decided to let loose. We eventually came to our closing number, the song was a cover of God I feel like Hell tonight by Sheryl Crow.
People had started to come in from the cold as the night sky drew close and the room seemed rosier and bright. Nervous but full of emotion Jono started off the guitar picking and I didn't start, he kept going and I cleared my throat and began.
The room had become eerily silent and all I could hear was the guitar and my voice, our voices.
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The song ended and the room rose in applause. A lady came up to me, she asked me if I'd sing at her wedding on a special island off the coast that coming Spring. She loved the song, she loved my voice, she wanted to pay me to sing at her wedding.
Jono smiled at me and went to get a beer.
The lady gave me her contact details and I slipped over to my crew who were waiting to jump me with hugs and smiles.
As the night continued on we decided to head home. I left Jono playing his guitar as I had entered.
My mind swirling with the events of the night, I was right again, my world had somehow corrected itself and I drove the boys home happy and quiet as they chatted and bubbled over their night of fun.
As I pulled up into the dock yard we could hear the music bouncing off the water. Dance music, party music. The boys jumped from the van onto their next adventure. I saw the lights and heard the music and I was content. We clambered merrily down the steep stairwell and entered the blacked out lounge, there were people everywhere. The ship was pumping. Decorations, food, music and dancing. The guys had pulled off a great party it seemed and everyone looked happy. I went to throw my coat in the bunk I shared with the cook. On my bed was a long stemmed red rose. No note just the rose.
I went back to the party and snuggled my self into a dark corner to watch the madness and joy and well hide in my own victory of the night. My Kansas admirer squeezed his tiny butt into the gap between me and the next person, with a piece of cake in tow. I asked him about the rose, he knew nothing about it, but looked perplexed that he hadn't placed the thorny item there himself. I wondered about the rose, but figured it was some community gesture, or a left over flower the party boys didn't know what to do with.
We watched the others dancing and relaxing, talking, a different atmosphere to the one we had been in. I wondered if they could smell the smoke and beer on us. I didn't care, maybe I'd consoled the anti-Valentines drinkers at the bar with my crooning. Well, one lady sure enjoyed it. That was good enough for me that night. Maybe there was no romance on my horizon, but I had a song.
Starting to feel the effects of an empty stomach I began to gobble down my cake. Before I knew what was happening a long hand reached out to me from the dance floor, it was attached to the tall Californian guy with the funny name and floppy hair I'd spoken briefly to earlier in the week. We'd exchanged some mild media and comedy banter, but nothing to warrant being pulled from my cave and the over-interest of the Kansas lad. My half loaded cake plate fell into his lap as California man literally swept me off my chair and then feet to the dance floor. To this day I have no idea what song was playing. I remember feeling like my face was going to burst into flames of embarrassment as he swung me like a rag doll around the floor. My head barely made it to his chest height. I dared to look up and see his smiling face beaming with joy. I glanced over at Kansas boy who looked even more perplexed as if someone had stolen his dessert.
Never in my whole life had anyone pulled me up onto a dance floor. Dancing wasn't too cool in the Gothic/grunge peer set I found myself in during my younger years..it was more like head banging, trying to cause brain injury and deafness during one repeated motion. I was infact a dancer, I'd trained in Latin American and Ballroom dancing all through Elementary and High School. I'd even been in competitions, that I NEVER told my friends about. The lanky push pull of my partner was starting to jolt my arms, the song fortunately came to an end. He spun me off towards the edge of the dance floor and smiled and scurried off to find himself a drink.
As California man was the most eligible young man on the ship at that time, I stopped and realised that EVERYONE had been staring at us, even the fellow dancers. I could hear the sound of hearts shattering all over the floor as I walked awkwardly back to my seat...this time I was happy to squeeze myself in next to Kansas boy and fade from the piercing stares, but even he had turned his back to me and was intent in conversation with a young engaged Swedish girl. I hadn't realised at that moment it had been the first and last dance that California man would dance that night. By pulling me out from the crowd he had no idea he'd answered my song: 'Are you strong enough?'
Happy Valentines Day!
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